Thin ice that lies beneath our lives; create an illusion of stability and comfort

By Paul Robinson

Over the years, many Americans have come to enjoy our flourishing economy and lavish lifestyle.  This has caused us to lose touch with reality because our achievements and successes came so easily.  To put it into perspective, it is like walking on an ice glacier, without any knowledge that the ice beneath our feet is not solid, only to be surprised by our next step that we’ve crashed through the ice. This experience causes panic, trauma and sometimes death.   To put it succinctly, emotional instability sometimes give us an unexpected jolt, especially when we believe that our lives are steady and our future bright, to face these tough choices can be very gut wrenching.  The unknown thin ice that lies beneath our feet can sometimes create the illusion of stability and comfort.   The 2008 recession serves as evidence and a wakeup call for many Americans to realize how weak and fragile our economy had been.   This revelation has left many families throughout the U.S scrambling for an answer and still hurting to regain their footing.  Most of those families are still in survival mode, just trying to get by. These experiences brought about an emotional instability which is called emotional liability or effective dysregulation in homes and workplaces (Pamela M. Cole, Margaret K. Michel, and Laureen O'Donnell Teti, p. 73).  Emotional instability is a chronic mental disease among families, and when left undiagnosed or untreated can become very devastating to innocent victims and families.    There have been research studies on the effects of risk factors which start during a person’s early childhood such as worrying, blurting out or avoiding emotions or feelings or going from a calm state into a rage in a matter of seconds (Koenigsberg & Handley P. 77).  This behavior emerges into chronic emotional instability and poor emotional awareness.

 Before America experienced the recession, many people would not think twice about impulsive spending because they were more prone towards instant gratification.  It gave families a false sense of security, which led them to believe that they had achieved the American dream.  It gave them a feel good moment and a can do attitude that they were on their way to bigger and better things, only to witness that their dream had been shattered.  These illusions cause families to carry out reckless and irresponsible spending behaviors.  An example of such behavior would be countless vacations and spending frenzies.   Frivolous items were being purchased frequently, because the next paycheck was on its way; until it wasn’t.

It happened suddenly when our economy took a downward spiral and workers began getting laid off.  These occurrences came about due to a slow economy. Frenzy was then triggered among citizens throughout the country.  It affected mostly those with mortgage and car payments.  These experiences have heightened our awareness that what we thought we had was only a mere illusion of reality.  It also exposed us to reality, fear and uncertainty all at once.  Consequently, these problems get carried over into our workplaces, and shortly thereafter crimes are being committed by a disgruntled ex-employee, experiencing emotional instability (George A. Bonanno, p.135 -138, 2005).

                                Without a strong and secure financial plan or savings, many American citizens and businesses alike went under. Their families’ whole life savings and all materialistic possessions dwindled away in front of their very eyes.  These experiences didn’t only destroy their lives, it also destroyed families.    Since then, it has become much clearer to us, with acceptance on how fragile our lives really are. We have said many times over that we would have never done such a thing.   Over the years, I have come to realize and even have gotten a much better understanding as to why these incidents happen. The attacks can be brutal, pushing away those they care most about. Then, when the storm subsides, they typically revert to being ''sweet and wonderful,'' as one family member put it. (Jane E Drody, New York Times, June 16, 2009).  It is my belief that no one in their rightful mind has any plan on just going out to hurt someone else.   Then things like this happen at the end of the day.   We believe that our life was unwavering, that we can just get whatever we want to fulfill our own personal satisfaction; because of our false sense of security.  Being unaware of these possibly dangerous situations is like thin ice beneath our feet, waiting to devour our hard work and materialistic possessions.   It has become much too common in today’s society to dismiss these challenges that families are being faced with. When there is someone whom we know and he or she is put in one of these horrific situations, we as friends or family must be ready to acknowledge that these emotional instabilities and tragedies do happen.  We need to be ready to take any needed action to get them help.

 Individuals, with these challenges of uncertainty may have never had to face this sort of situation before, and for that reason are not properly equipped on how to handle it.  With uncertainty of this type, individuals are now starting to experience emotional instability and anxiety.  For example, many times we have heard on the news, television or read in the newspaper that someone who has been laid off returns to their old workplace and commits a heinous crime.  These crimes range from physical assaults, shooting, robbery or even homicide. (Erica B. Moses, p.146, 2006).  Although the number of such crimes has significantly declined in recent years, through program intervention, workplace violence still remains the second-leading cause of occupational injury in today’s workforce.   The number of crimes in the national data system is at 18 percent (Journal of Marriage and Family; David C. R. Kerr, Deborah M. Capaldi, Lee D. Owen, Margit Wiesner and Katherine C. Pears, Vol. 73, 2011 ).  This number is quite alarming when you think about it, we would have never thought of how emotionally unstable and fragile our loved ones or even our neighbor could be; if they were to lose their jobs and have to face these pressures in life.

Sometimes we treat people as if they are sub human. Because of their existing conditions, we express distain towards them as if to say that their life does not have any significant value in our society.  The most recent incident happened at the Martin Luther King Jr. hospital in L.A, where patients were being dumped out on the streets by an ambulance company because they were not able to pay for their medical treatments. These patients were all suffering from emotional instability and needed treatment.  Instead, we turn our backs on them.  When they act outside of their normal state of mind and commit these unthinkable incidents, then we become hysterical and act all innocent as if we didn’t see it coming.   They didn’t bring this sickness on themselves, and when they are being mistreated in such a manner we have not only failed them, but ourselves as well.  Just imagine for a second if the shoe was on the other foot, would we want to be treated in that same manner. 

As we can recall the 2003 shooting incident that took place in Goleta, California where after being on medical leave for psychological problems Jennifer Sanmarco showed up to the workplace and shot and killed six of her co-workers (author’s name page #) Another example would be the shooting in 2012 by an ex-LAPD officer Christopher Darden who got fired from his job.  He then went on a tyrant killing other fellow police officers and their loved ones before committing suicide.  Most recently, in September 2013 an incident  at the Navy Yard in Washington D.C by Aaron Alexis an ex- military personnel and contractor working on the base, went on a shooting spree from the balcony; killing twelve people before taking his own life.    

When things like these happen we as a society are shaken and are forced to face the brutal truth about mental health and stress in the work place.  It forces some employers in high stressful jobs to implement ways for its employees to relieve stress.  Some employers have great incentives or rewards for their employees and some have onsite counselors that the employees can have access to when feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

 Incidents like this happen every day in different parts of the country, emotional instability has become a growing epidemic in our society.  Until we come to the realization that these traits are there and our families are being affected throughout the U.S, many more people will be hurt.  Families are the backbone of our strong nation and for us to become a prosperous generation; we need to do more for the mentally challenged individuals or groups in an effort to prevent these heinous crimes from happening.  If our society does nothing, we’ll keep on losing families to these unforeseen situations that will only continue to get worse. This chronic disease does not affect any one gender, it happens to both male and female. We have a mother in Texas; Andrea Yates who drowns all her 5 children inside the bathtub shortly after her husband leaves for work.  This disease is very dangerous and should serve as a warning to our society.  

In conclusion, emotional instability is a growing problem.   Many innocent lives are being destroyed. A great deal of incidents went unreported, undocumented and sometimes these incidents happen in small towns across America.  When these things are being brought to the forefront, by the news media, the expression on our faces turns into shock.  Through these expressions we are suggesting that these people are cold and uncaring.   Whereas, if we were to look closely at the problem that exists, we would then realize that it lies with us, as a society and we have failed to help those who are in dire need. Identifying and diagnosing our citizens correctly will give us a positive outcome for generations to come.  The result could be a win for our society and innocent lives would then be saved. Therefore, we may never know that there is thin ice that lies beneath our lives, sometimes creating an illusion of stability and comfort until we have been confronted with the truth; that it was all an illusion.

American Dream or Bust

            In recent discussions of the American Dream, a controversial issue has been whether success drives people to push themselves emotionally to unthinkable boundaries due to the fear of failure.  On the one hand some explain that the fear of success is equally as daunting as the fear of failure, which traps most from setting higher milestones in their success paths. From this perspective, fear is what keeps people from branching out into a new career. Moreover, emotional instability among individuals in the workplace drives people towards a state of paranoia, distracting one another from the milestones each person has set for themselves.  Stability and comfort also undermine our goals which can pose to be deceptive when reaching a state of fulfillment or what is thought to be success, leaving us insecure.  In other points of views, the question upheld is whether losing one's self, losing the opportunity at shared success, and forgetting one's upbringing justifies accomplishments made along the emotional journey towards prosperity and financial fulfillment.  The examination of these matters will shed light upon The American Dream and what costs people give up to try to make that dream attainable. It is evident that success, failure, and  happiness are the prominent themes that will be examined.

             Achieving success and a taste of the American Dream has long been attached to America's past. The question upheld is whether losing one's self, opportunity at shared success, and emotional instabilities along the journey justify accomplishments; moreover, when success comes into play, it is easy for one to forget about cultural roots and upbringings, hence adding on to emotional and moral instabilities. From this perspective the American Dream poses to be attainable, the matter at hand examined is the costs that people give up along the way towards prosperity and happiness, the main goal of the American Dream.  As stated in the sociological forum by Cohen-Marks, M. A. and Stout, "all Americans, regardless of their background or origins, have a reasonable chance to achieve success through their own efforts. It is an ideal that has inspired great achievements and led to crushing disappointments" (Cohen, Stout). According to this point of view, one can see a traditional perspective of the American Dream centered around the efforts of the individual and how far they are willing to push themselves emotionally to attain the dream. On the other hand, however, Sandrea L. Hanson and Jhon Zogby from The Public Opinion Quarterly examined results from a number of U.S. public opinion polls and found out that "...in some [survey questions] , an increasing minority of Americans reported that [working hard] and determination does not guarantee success" (Hanson, Zogby). From this perspective, hard work and determination in the form of educational success, physical labor, and even emotional struggles are targeted as not being enough in current times, to help individuals reach their American Dream. Moreover, a  bachelor’s degree no longer impresses many company’s when hiring a potential new employees. It can be said that the value of a bachelor’s degree is not worth as much as it once did. It is now seen as simply the equivalent to  having a high school diploma, easily attainable and many others have it, nothing special.   In sum then the issue is whether the American Dream is attainable through hard work and individual efforts set forth or is the emotional instability that drives people to lose oneself equitable to a possible successful outcome.

            Emotional instability can be one of the main factors as to why people struggle on their pathway towards prosperity. It can be said that emotions play an important role in the workplace when it comes to an individual's overall performance.  One of the key things to remember as stated by Dr. Muchinsky is that "... to be emotional reflects a proclivity for instability and weakness, unwanted and undesirable characteristics in an organization man" (Muchinsky). From this point of view, controlled emotions in the work place helps an individual be not only progressive and organized, but admired and needed in the work place. Many emotions can be triggered in the workplace such as emotions dealing with financial struggles. Others tend to be external emotions that happen outside of the workplace and simply get carried along to the workplace The fear of failure is one of the most prominent reasons as to why people get  stirred up with their emotions. Many of the times the fear of not attaining  success draws people's stress levels spiraling upward causing their work habits to deteriorate. Stress is the one of the main reasons that increases  anxiety among individuals.  The person dealing with it either learns to cope with stress in a positive manner or develops physical, emotional or addictive behavior problems which can present themselves in a workplace environment. Furthermore, in Managing Emotions in the Workplace, J. Andrew Morris and Daniel C. Feldman argue that "... the three components of the emotional labor construct [are] differentially related to various aspects of physiological well being [ and that] the dimensions of physiological well [that should be ] examined are emotional exhaustion, job satisfaction and role internalization" (Morris, Feldman). These three components differentially create people's emotional instabilities.

            Financial struggles seem to be one of the main reasons as to why many minorities are currently struggling with achieving the American Dream. Many minority students have reached their level of education due to their parent’s or family’s hard work, hard labor with minimum wages. Many would agree that the dream is attainable to everyone and anyone who is willing to work hard for it, but to look past differential advantages among each other is ignorance. In the Meet The Press panel discussion,  Congressman Raul Labrador explains that the American Dream is alive and well as he shares he's success story. As a minority in America during the Civil Rights Movement, he explains that his mother sacrificed many things in her life to get his son where he needed to be prosperous in the future. In contrary Sheryl WuDunn argues that  the American Dream is still available but only for the well educated  explaining that" the problem is government gridlock [adding on that ] 57000 kids have been shut out of head start and illegal immigrant children have no way to moving up, [moreover] the chances of an American moving up [is] one out of twelve versus in Britain one out of eight" (WuDunn). This argument explains how America's deteriorated educational system is the culprit. Without good schools all around and not only in suburban areas, children in many families suffer and have differential advantages or disadvantages .  Many minorities deal with this disadvantage from living in poor neighborhoods . The effects then can add on to emotional instabilities for those families, as well as financial instabilities because their children do not benefit from our educational system to the fullest.

            As stated education is one of the most important factors of success in America. One is applauded for having a bachelor’s degree, but that is not enough in current times with America’s competitive job market. Many are scared to jump through the next hoop in their career paths and aim at higher education after their bachelor’s due to the fact that they must keep in mind their financial standing and whether it is really worth the opportunity risk since higher level education can really dig deep into one’s life savings or add on to accumulated debt. As examined in the poll surveys in "Attitudes About the American Dream," people tend to associate political parties with the dream: " Respondents were consistently more likely to say that the Democratic Party (in contrast to the Republican Party) will do a better job of helping more people achieve the American Dream, although the Republican Party has made some gains" (Hanson, Zogby ). Republican Raul Labrador's beliefs on achieving the America Dream by pure  efforts of the individual emphasizes the beliefs of Hanson and Zogby.  The democratic view is more of a shared success basis where we all obtain the chance at the American Dream with the help of our government. The help could come in form of better education systems. Sheryl Wudunn argued that the k-12 school system has many flaws with differential disadvantages to different students.

            One last thing to examine is whether the American Dream still upholds within America's people. Are American's still optimistic ? Do Americans believe that they can still get a taste of the American Dream? In a survey conducted in 2007 it was discovered that many still did believe in some sort of dream that America promised. Broken down, the percentage of Americans that believe will reach the American dream is as followed: Whites at 19.7 percent , Blacks at 46.63 percent , Hispanics at 64.07 percent, and Asian Americans at 45.68 percent. These percentages show that the American Dream is still alive in an optimistic view point. The percentage of whites was lower than that of the rest of the minorities because in the same survey conducted 48.35 percent stated that they had already reached the American Dream, a percentage much higher than the rest in this question.  Through emotional instabilities and financial hardships, it is evident that many people are still willing to go through it all to be successful and prosperous in their lives.

            Emotional instabilities will be present in the lives of those working towards being successful. They are not something that one can avoid. With a better educational structure, it can be said that instabilities that are found in minority households or those in poverty, can be put to ease. The American Dream still poses to be attainable by some, moreover the costs of obtaining that dream includes financial struggles as well as emotional instabilities. The fear of failure is always upon those reaching out to be prosperous. It can be concluded that success that is shared among people can pose to be a greater accomplishment. Studies have shown that Americans are still optimistic that one day they will reach the American Dream.  Differential advantages when put to a minimum stabilize emotional instabilities in lower income families, making the American Dream that much more attainable.

-Daniel Madrigal

An Ending Dream

by D. Y. T. (Don't You Tell!!)

- alias used due to content that might cause trouble for certain people if revealed

I would like to decide it started then- when the income earner in the family decided that my grades were abysmal- that my carefree life was falling apart, which was not true as everything was collapsing years before but now revealed itself quite clearly. The statement went something like this: "Your letter grades aren't bad, but the way they vary so much from subject to subject reveals too much about what your weaknesses are. I would rather you have straight Cs than of as in one subject and Ds in another." This was back in middle school, when I still did not understand the implication of those words; I realize it now, that those words were clear signal of paranoia in the workplace.

Emotional instabilities in the workplace are not restricted to the confines of the workplace. Its effects extend far beyond the boundaries of co-workers, managers and clients; with its effects lasting much longer than just a ‘simple period of instability.’There are the more apparent cases of this—the shootings done by people who return to their former jobs after have been laid off- which then affect the victims’families. However, the case that I wish to point out is not one which has shocked countries or states, but of a more quiet circumstance that I would like to believe could be just as impactful; the case I wish to point out is my own childhood, when I was being given advice from the bread-winner undergoing paranoia.

The lead-up to such a situation came from this: we were foreigners. My parents were already paranoid: paranoid of being deported for whatever minor infringements they might make, and paranoid of my father not being able to keep or find new jobs if the current one went out. We were, in part, seeking for a better existence than before—earning higher income than we would in our home country, seeking a more peaceful lifestyle by getting away from the mandatory military service for men in that country (which was recently abolished). With that, my parents passed along their own paranoia to us, the children, by constantly reminding us of what they were doing for us without realizing what they were doing to us.

With the on-going paranoia, everything that lead to (or rather would have lead to) a bitter end was set up. In third grade, on vacation in an amusement park no less, my father throws a fit, banning me from riding amusement park rides for the rest of the day. Why, you ask? It was because in the LegoMindstorms exhibit in LegoLand where they allowed children to play with the toys (with parent guidance if they were not of a certain age limit), I threw a fit because he didn’t listen to what I said about how the parts should have gone together and operated and thus failed to have a working robot. I wasn’t leaving until he acknowledged that he was wrong. Honestly, he should have just admitted he was wrong and been done with it, but he did not. After managing to get me outside after just about flat-out lying that we could go again, he tells me that I was not allowed to go on any more rides for the rest of the day—then follows up with demanding me to do certain actions that were below me, and I do mean below anyone with any bit of intelligence at the age of 9. While waiting for my siblings who were enjoying their rides, my “father” would demand that I go up to Lego statues and wave to them as if they were alive. That was not all—my parents would couple it up with the threat of sending me back to my home country for their mandatory military service because I was disobedient. So the end of the vacation comes around after the following days with my faith in them and just about everything in tatters-- with a grudge on the back of my mind.

This was the lead-up to everything else that followed. With less faith, there was more conflict. With more conflict, there was less attachment. And with that, we lead up to the main incident that set everything off to my [theoretical] death.

Because I stayed behind after class to clean up in 7^th grade, I would end up chatting with the teacher. Somehow, we ended up on a topic on home, how I did not enjoy being at home much and that I did not like my father particularly much. She relayed said message to the office, which then relayed their concern to my parents. My parents did not mention any of this for the long duration of a few years. My father was dealing with work, and with this mention probably felt that he wasn’t being appreciated much for all he had done (which, unfortunately, he was appreciated at the time regardless of like or dislike—but he did not know that). This in turn lead to more rough and violent behavior, which lead to very poor management of the time I got suspended from class for being allegedly causing a disruption in class by calling someone something inappropriate (it was the other person who actually made the ruckus) and being disobedient by not returning to my seat and doing the pointless work of copying a printout by hand onto another sheet of paper (which we never ended up using). The supplemented reason because the previous did not seem enough to warrant a suspension was because I had apparently called that teacher a bitch, which I did not—I had called her a witch, following what someone I considered a friend called her due to her poor judgment of who was actually in the wrong and coincidentally punishing said friend(s) constantly. That was how far my attachment to school had become due to my situation at home.

At that point in time, the situation at home was rather miserable and boring. My father was almost never at home, coming home after long hours of work; and my mother was busy with housework and everyone’s extracurricular classes. The only sources of entertainment were the television and videogames, both of which we were not allowed to access unless we finished assignments. If we were caught, we would get punished. If we lied or tried to get out of it, we’d get punished—and punishment involved standing straight against a wall for hours, with a smack if we weren’t standing straight enough or dared to talk back or not pay attention. My ‘father’ abused that quite often, and it seemed like something to relieve his stress unbeknownst to him. They absolutely hated everything I did to try to alleviate my own stress, which would be loudly ranting out loud to the wall, throwing items that would not break around the room, slamming doors unintentionally—which then lead to more punishment. With just about nothing left, I was ready to go off somewhere and simply die. I had also intended to take the house down with me as well, though neither of those occurred; and I feel there is a need to mention that there is no need to worry about such happening in the future either as years have passed since that time, just so you know.

Now, let us rewind to better examine some circumstances within these mentioned events in life, starting from the top. When I first heard that father would rather have me achieving straight C’s or A’s as opposed to my spread of a few A’s to B’s to C’s, I thought he was crazy. Those words still do not sound sane, even today; however, I do understand where he is coming from now. During those years, the company he was working for was downsizing and was bought out soon enough. The situation of the company seemed quite similar to the one in told by Joshua Ferris in his book Then We Came to the End. It seemed the people were set to get the others in trouble if it would save their hides. Joe Pope from the novel was a worker who worked late, and thus became an easy target for any occurrences such as being set up with miscellaneous material from other workers’ offices. This incidence brought my attention back to the words my father said: never be the last person to leave because if something went wrong overnight you will take the fall. Every single last step was needed to stay in the clear those days—and that was why he told me to minimize or make my weaknesses less apparent during those days.

Despite those pep talks from father, there was a considerable lack of parental guidance—and any type of parental guidance was quite lackluster at best. My father worked late, if not already apparent from his mention of being the last to leave work; he would usually return home sometime between 8 to 9 PM with occasions of returning home past 10 and/or bringing work home with him. My mother would be preoccupied with tasks such as delivering my two older siblings to their after school lessons or dropping me off for mine—thus resulting in a severe lack of personal interactions at home. My home situation was nearing the border of what could be classified as one with parents working a “nonstandard” work schedule. A review of studies in parental nonstandard(NS) work schedule highlights this: “parental NS work schedules… have negative consequences for the developing child with regards to mental health and behavioral problems, cognitive development, overweight and obesity, and other related outcomes” (Li Jianhong, et al). While there was never an issue of becoming overweight or obese for me, I had definitely seen my share of mental health and behavioral problems. I had not realized any inhibition to cognitive development until much later, when I would begin tracing back to each event to try to feel where I might have ended up should a variety of events occurred differently in life. I certainly would not be here typing out this long chatter about the past had events turned out differently.

Speaking of issues of mental health, there are several consequences of the entire series of events that persist even today that should be mentioned, as well as some more widespread effects that could have occurred. On both sides, the office worker and the dependant, there were effects of prolonged stress and of violent and suppressed anger. According to Mayo Clinic, prolonged stress raises the risk of anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, sleep problems, weight gain, and memory and concentration impairment (Mayo Clinic). These risks are compounded with the effects of high levels of anger; which Kubanzky, an expert on the subject, states that “people who hurl objects or scream at others may be at greater risk for heart disease, as well as those who harbor suppressed rage” (as cited in Kam). Due to the constant back and forth on both sides, my mother and I suffered from depression and are currently suffering from heart disease—mine mostly undiagnosed and my mother’s somewhat diagnosed; which I am also currently suffering from during my long hours attempting to finish assignments for my assortment of classes. To put the situation into perspective, I have only begun my 20s in age; so, these health issues are likely not due to age.

My current situation should be the least of worries that anyone dealing with workplace anxiety. As I mentioned before, I had considered suicide due to the entire series of episodes between me and my father. Had I done so, there would have been considerable consequences throughout the neighborhood—which would result in much more dire effects for the ones in the epicenter. With suicide, those who “survived” are more likely to be judged harshly or judge themselves harshly than if the person who died had done so in another manner such as in an accident (Cerel et al.). My current roommate has dealt with and is currently still dealing with this factor. For years, he has lived regretting not stopping his friend from killing himself whether or not it was within his power to do so. One of the lasting signs his friend’s death is his need to confirm whether or not someone is fine, then ask again to make absolutely sure that the person in question is fine. Now, imagine the effect multiplied over 15 times. It is a gigantic ripple on a rather grand, depressing scale. Recall the statement that there was nothing to worry about regarding me and suicide? It is thus that I will likely not choose such method for my death anymore; unless all hope is lost, which is extraordinarily unlikely to happen.

Emotional instability from the workplace reaches far beyond the bounds of the workplace. Its effects are clearly long lasting, regardless of whether or not it results in someone’s death. With someone’s death, the effects become much more widespread and much more permanent. After all, there is no method for bringing back the dead within existence. So, although we had moved to this land for a better existence, it is rather hard to say that the end result is so. Perhaps we are better off than we would have been; it is likely we are better off; however, with all that has occurred, it is difficult to say.

Please Refer to the Annotated Bibliography page for references used.