Thin ice that lies beneath our lives; create an illusion of stability and comfort

By Paul Robinson

Over the years, many Americans have come to enjoy our flourishing economy and lavish lifestyle.  This has caused us to lose touch with reality because our achievements and successes came so easily.  To put it into perspective, it is like walking on an ice glacier, without any knowledge that the ice beneath our feet is not solid, only to be surprised by our next step that we’ve crashed through the ice. This experience causes panic, trauma and sometimes death.   To put it succinctly, emotional instability sometimes give us an unexpected jolt, especially when we believe that our lives are steady and our future bright, to face these tough choices can be very gut wrenching.  The unknown thin ice that lies beneath our feet can sometimes create the illusion of stability and comfort.   The 2008 recession serves as evidence and a wakeup call for many Americans to realize how weak and fragile our economy had been.   This revelation has left many families throughout the U.S scrambling for an answer and still hurting to regain their footing.  Most of those families are still in survival mode, just trying to get by. These experiences brought about an emotional instability which is called emotional liability or effective dysregulation in homes and workplaces (Pamela M. Cole, Margaret K. Michel, and Laureen O'Donnell Teti, p. 73).  Emotional instability is a chronic mental disease among families, and when left undiagnosed or untreated can become very devastating to innocent victims and families.    There have been research studies on the effects of risk factors which start during a person’s early childhood such as worrying, blurting out or avoiding emotions or feelings or going from a calm state into a rage in a matter of seconds (Koenigsberg & Handley P. 77).  This behavior emerges into chronic emotional instability and poor emotional awareness.

 Before America experienced the recession, many people would not think twice about impulsive spending because they were more prone towards instant gratification.  It gave families a false sense of security, which led them to believe that they had achieved the American dream.  It gave them a feel good moment and a can do attitude that they were on their way to bigger and better things, only to witness that their dream had been shattered.  These illusions cause families to carry out reckless and irresponsible spending behaviors.  An example of such behavior would be countless vacations and spending frenzies.   Frivolous items were being purchased frequently, because the next paycheck was on its way; until it wasn’t.

It happened suddenly when our economy took a downward spiral and workers began getting laid off.  These occurrences came about due to a slow economy. Frenzy was then triggered among citizens throughout the country.  It affected mostly those with mortgage and car payments.  These experiences have heightened our awareness that what we thought we had was only a mere illusion of reality.  It also exposed us to reality, fear and uncertainty all at once.  Consequently, these problems get carried over into our workplaces, and shortly thereafter crimes are being committed by a disgruntled ex-employee, experiencing emotional instability (George A. Bonanno, p.135 -138, 2005).

                                Without a strong and secure financial plan or savings, many American citizens and businesses alike went under. Their families’ whole life savings and all materialistic possessions dwindled away in front of their very eyes.  These experiences didn’t only destroy their lives, it also destroyed families.    Since then, it has become much clearer to us, with acceptance on how fragile our lives really are. We have said many times over that we would have never done such a thing.   Over the years, I have come to realize and even have gotten a much better understanding as to why these incidents happen. The attacks can be brutal, pushing away those they care most about. Then, when the storm subsides, they typically revert to being ''sweet and wonderful,'' as one family member put it. (Jane E Drody, New York Times, June 16, 2009).  It is my belief that no one in their rightful mind has any plan on just going out to hurt someone else.   Then things like this happen at the end of the day.   We believe that our life was unwavering, that we can just get whatever we want to fulfill our own personal satisfaction; because of our false sense of security.  Being unaware of these possibly dangerous situations is like thin ice beneath our feet, waiting to devour our hard work and materialistic possessions.   It has become much too common in today’s society to dismiss these challenges that families are being faced with. When there is someone whom we know and he or she is put in one of these horrific situations, we as friends or family must be ready to acknowledge that these emotional instabilities and tragedies do happen.  We need to be ready to take any needed action to get them help.

 Individuals, with these challenges of uncertainty may have never had to face this sort of situation before, and for that reason are not properly equipped on how to handle it.  With uncertainty of this type, individuals are now starting to experience emotional instability and anxiety.  For example, many times we have heard on the news, television or read in the newspaper that someone who has been laid off returns to their old workplace and commits a heinous crime.  These crimes range from physical assaults, shooting, robbery or even homicide. (Erica B. Moses, p.146, 2006).  Although the number of such crimes has significantly declined in recent years, through program intervention, workplace violence still remains the second-leading cause of occupational injury in today’s workforce.   The number of crimes in the national data system is at 18 percent (Journal of Marriage and Family; David C. R. Kerr, Deborah M. Capaldi, Lee D. Owen, Margit Wiesner and Katherine C. Pears, Vol. 73, 2011 ).  This number is quite alarming when you think about it, we would have never thought of how emotionally unstable and fragile our loved ones or even our neighbor could be; if they were to lose their jobs and have to face these pressures in life.

Sometimes we treat people as if they are sub human. Because of their existing conditions, we express distain towards them as if to say that their life does not have any significant value in our society.  The most recent incident happened at the Martin Luther King Jr. hospital in L.A, where patients were being dumped out on the streets by an ambulance company because they were not able to pay for their medical treatments. These patients were all suffering from emotional instability and needed treatment.  Instead, we turn our backs on them.  When they act outside of their normal state of mind and commit these unthinkable incidents, then we become hysterical and act all innocent as if we didn’t see it coming.   They didn’t bring this sickness on themselves, and when they are being mistreated in such a manner we have not only failed them, but ourselves as well.  Just imagine for a second if the shoe was on the other foot, would we want to be treated in that same manner. 

As we can recall the 2003 shooting incident that took place in Goleta, California where after being on medical leave for psychological problems Jennifer Sanmarco showed up to the workplace and shot and killed six of her co-workers (author’s name page #) Another example would be the shooting in 2012 by an ex-LAPD officer Christopher Darden who got fired from his job.  He then went on a tyrant killing other fellow police officers and their loved ones before committing suicide.  Most recently, in September 2013 an incident  at the Navy Yard in Washington D.C by Aaron Alexis an ex- military personnel and contractor working on the base, went on a shooting spree from the balcony; killing twelve people before taking his own life.    

When things like these happen we as a society are shaken and are forced to face the brutal truth about mental health and stress in the work place.  It forces some employers in high stressful jobs to implement ways for its employees to relieve stress.  Some employers have great incentives or rewards for their employees and some have onsite counselors that the employees can have access to when feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

 Incidents like this happen every day in different parts of the country, emotional instability has become a growing epidemic in our society.  Until we come to the realization that these traits are there and our families are being affected throughout the U.S, many more people will be hurt.  Families are the backbone of our strong nation and for us to become a prosperous generation; we need to do more for the mentally challenged individuals or groups in an effort to prevent these heinous crimes from happening.  If our society does nothing, we’ll keep on losing families to these unforeseen situations that will only continue to get worse. This chronic disease does not affect any one gender, it happens to both male and female. We have a mother in Texas; Andrea Yates who drowns all her 5 children inside the bathtub shortly after her husband leaves for work.  This disease is very dangerous and should serve as a warning to our society.  

In conclusion, emotional instability is a growing problem.   Many innocent lives are being destroyed. A great deal of incidents went unreported, undocumented and sometimes these incidents happen in small towns across America.  When these things are being brought to the forefront, by the news media, the expression on our faces turns into shock.  Through these expressions we are suggesting that these people are cold and uncaring.   Whereas, if we were to look closely at the problem that exists, we would then realize that it lies with us, as a society and we have failed to help those who are in dire need. Identifying and diagnosing our citizens correctly will give us a positive outcome for generations to come.  The result could be a win for our society and innocent lives would then be saved. Therefore, we may never know that there is thin ice that lies beneath our lives, sometimes creating an illusion of stability and comfort until we have been confronted with the truth; that it was all an illusion.